Bouncing Back from setbacks
Photo by Cullen Jones on Unsplash
Life is beautiful, wonderful, and, most of all, full of surprises. Some surprises bring joy, while others can bring challenges, which can, at times, feel overwhelming. From job loss and health issues to financial difficulties and personal setbacks, these challenges can knock us down, sometimes deflating us, taking the bounce out of our bungee and impacting our mental health and well-being.
However, how we respond to these setbacks makes us who we are, as they become part of our lives and stories. I’ve recently found that it’s during these times that our resilience kicks in. Supporting us, giving us that inner strength to adapt and recover. It helps us bounce back and keep moving forward, one small step at a time.
Just like anyone else, I’ve had my fair share of setbacks. Currently, I’m navigating a brutal job market, and I’ve hit a brick wall in terms of my physical transformation. I feel stressed, angry, and annoyed. And at the time of writing, I’m doubting my skills and abilities at every level. It can sometimes feel overwhelming, which can be a real struggle. But acknowledging these feelings is okay because I am human, after all.
So, I’ve decided that the best thing for me to do is to take a step back. To reset and protect my mental health and well-being. I know that I will thrive again. But right now, I need the time to reflect and overcome these challenges.
Resilience, what is it?
Resilience is adapting to adversity, stress or trauma. I like to think of resilience as my inner “bounce-back” mechanism that keeps me moving, even after facing what seems like setback after setback.
We cannot avoid stress or difficulties, and it’s not good if we do. We have to learn to deal with them, learning from these moments to come back stronger.
Building up our resilience is essential to our mental well-being. Research has shown that resilient people are less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression, which allows them to handle life’s stresses more effectively.
By building resilience, we can shield ourselves from the mental and physical challenges linked to chronic stress to lead healthier, happier lives.
Facing my setback
In my own life, I’ve recently hit a brick wall in my health and fitness journey. Working with my trainer, I’ve set goals, put in the work and made steady progress over the years.
However, lately, things have stalled. I don’t feel like I’m making the progress I want, which is silly because I am. Body dysmorphia, social media, and not being in the right mindset have left me feeling frustrated, angry, and ready to give up.
This setback, combined with trying to get back into a career I love, has triggered a wave of emotions that I cannot control. I know that progress takes time and setbacks are part of the process, but it’s difficult not to feel overwhelmed.
My inner critic/germline has gone into overdrive. I’ve questioned when, if ever, I’d see the transformation I desire or get back into the career I love. So, I’ve had to step back from it all, realising that this metaphorical brick wall I’m facing is telling me to pause, take a break, and rest.
Through reflection, such as journaling and talking with my trainer, friends, and family, I’ve realised that these setbacks are not failures. They are stepping stones, teaching me patience, resilience, and the importance of adjusting my perspective. Without realising it, I've begun a new resilience journey by acknowledging how I feel during this time.
The power of coaching
Coaching has always been my go-to tool. Coaching has provided me with a safe space to think and voice my thoughts, helping me to overcome setbacks, reflect, set realistic and achievable goals, and stay accountable. I’ve found that in the coaching space, I can express my frustrations and identify patterns in my emotional thinking and responses, which is empowering.
During one of my coaching sessions, we tried something different: I was encouraged to journal. This process helped me explore my emotions deeper, identify triggers, and regain control. While coaching doesn’t eliminate setbacks, it offers the tools to manage them and build my resilience, helping me bounce back.
How coaching helps build resilience
Self-awareness
Coaching encourages you to reflect on past challenges and recognise and understand your emotional response to setbacks.Positive mindset
Coaching can help you reframe negative experiences, making setbacks more manageable.Accountability
Coaching provides the structure, helping you stay focused so that you can take action and see gradual progression.
Strategies for building resilience
Resilience isn’t something we’re born with; it’s a skill we develop as we journey through life, learning from our lived experiences. Here are some strategies that have helped me to build resilience, gradually putting the bounce back into my bungee.
Reflection
I reflected on my challenges and how I could overcome them. Recognising my past achievements has boosted my confidence and reminded me of my inner strength.
Face your fears
Avoiding challenges often magnifies fear. By confronting my fears, I was able to regain control, making future obstacles seem less daunting.
Move your body
While stepping back, I remained active as physical activity reduces stress, elevates mood, and improves sleep, strengthening our ability to handle adversity.
Celebrate small wins
I started breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps to reduce my feeling of overwhelm. I’ve also begun acknowledging and celebrating each small victory as I progress.
Build a support network
I contacted friends and family, who helped provide a fresh perspective and much-needed encouragement. Sometimes, I needed space to be alone, and that’s okay. But knowing who you can talk to helps and is essential in building resilience.
Reframe negative thinking
In the face of my recent setbacks, I tried to find meaning in the experience and focus on what I could learn. Reframing helps me to see challenges as temporary rather than failures.
Develop emotional regulation
Managing my emotions, like anxiety and frustration, was vital to my resilience. Techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, and meditation helped calm my mind during stressful times.
Having a growth mindset
Having a growth mindset is essential for building resilience. People with a growth mindset are likelier to see setbacks as learning opportunities. I found that embracing a growth mindset helped turn my difficulties into opportunities for self-improvement. But I’ve also realised that it's also okay to feel how you are, as not every setback needs to be an opportunity to learn.
Be kind to yourself
Good health and self-care routines are essential for resilience. Yes, my transformation journey has hit a setback. But I still go to the gym, as it is a space where I can recover mentally. It sounds strange, but it helps.
I’ve found that a good foundation of sleep, nutrition, and exercise has enabled me to respond more effectively to life challenges. So, I encourage you to create a self-care routine that includes times for relaxation and personal reflection. Prioritise yourself as it can help you recharge your mental energy, building better resilience.
Tips for bouncing back
Here are some tips to help you navigate setbacks in a healthy, proactive way:
Acknowledge your feelings
It’s okay to feel how you are feeling. Allow yourself to experience emotions without judgment because suppressing them can intensify stress.Focus on what you can control
Release the need to control everything and direct your energy into actionable steps.Celebrate milestones
Reflect on past challenges you’ve overcome, and celebrate each victory as it strengthens your resilience.
Resilience doesn’t erase challenges, but it does help us approach them with greater strength, patience, and determination. Building resilience is a continuous journey that involves learning from each setback, embracing growth, and developing the skills to overcome life’s hurdles.
Coaching, practical strategies, and a growth mindset are some of the tools in this journey, helping to turn life’s inevitable challenges into stepping stones for personal growth.
Ultimately, resilience is about developing the strength to adapt and the courage to continue, no matter what life throws at you.
If you want to explore coaching and learn how it works, reach out and let’s get your bounce back.
